I REALLY should be in bed, but had to visit one of my favorite blogs before closing my laptop and came across this that I thought was fun. Copy, bold the items you HAVE done, post and compare!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (I’m throwing this question out because I don’t like it) One Thing didn't like it, and I agree with her sentiment, but our financial dude actually said this to us, so I thought I'd bold it anyway. :-)
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (you should all be grateful for this one)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29 Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33 Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41 Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45 Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (does it count if the artist was 8?)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (visited, but didn’t ride)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (do home movies count?)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia (does Kazahkstan count?)
60 Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64 Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66 Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67 Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79 Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (ew!)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life (not to my knowledge)
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person (my husband and son did just this week!)
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Being the Mom My Kids Deserve

Dana at Are We There Yet? has made me think about the question: What kind of Mom do my kids deserve? If I were to put a want ad in the paper for a Mom for my kids, what would be the qualifications? I so often have a hard time keeping my focus during the day. I'm easily distracted and often have a one-track mind. I find myself occasionally wondering how the time has gone so quickly, and realizing that I have not made time for my kids. I guess that probably sounds like an odd thing to say from someone who spends nearly all her time at home, but being at home and being focused on my boys are two different things.

Wanted: Mom for Noah and Micah.
Ability to . . .
walk into a messy boy's room and not nag.
discern the heart behind the action, then respond in wisdom and patience.
pray scripture over each boy daily.
model self-control.
correct without cutting down.
encourage the character, not just the actions.
use a gentle answer to turn away wrath.
model forgiveness.
stop your busy-ness and look each boy in the eye as he's speaking.
know their love language and fill their tank daily.
be their best cheerleader.
let them know you're on their side.
be in the Word and prayer daily so you're prepared to guide and correct in Christ-likeness.
ask forgiveness when necessary.
take every opportunity to point them to God.
model love in speech and actions.
be honest in all things great and small.

I'm sure more things will come to mind. But one thing that strikes me is that nothing on this list has to do with how well I'm homeschooling, how clean my house is, or how many vegetables my kids have eaten each day. While all those things are important and needful, I need this reminder that how I do these things and how I'm relating to my children while living our lives together is what ultimately matters.

Why this is so hard to keep in mind, I do not know. Why I get so wrapped up in my own selfish pursuits day by day is a mystery. But one thing I do know, is that it is Christ in me that makes me able to do all things, so I will not beat myself up over the past, but ask Him to come front and center in my life today and help me to be the Mom He desires for Noah and Micah.

Divine Control

This issue of divine control has been weighing on my mind. I mentioned previously that I wasn't really sure how much God had to do with the random circumstances of our lives. I've always tended to think that things just happen because we live in a fallen and corrupt world, then I guess God just goes behind doing "damage control" working everything out for the good. However, this theory--at least how it's worked out in my life--has a lot of contradictions in it. So, I decided to begin searching for truth, and must now admit that I was wrong.

Here are a few things I have found, starting with Hebrews 12:

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

What I was rebelling against in my belief that God is not in control of every detail was God's discipline to bring me into holy living.

Here is a sermon by John Piper on this passage that is well worth reading.

I was directed to the July 16 entry in My Utmost for His Highest:

The Notion Of Divine Control

“How much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?” Matthew 7:11

Jesus is laying down rules of conduct for those who have His Spirit. By the simple argument of these verses He urges us to keep our minds filled with the notion of God's control behind every thing, which means that the disciple must maintain an attitude of perfect trust and an eagerness to ask and to seek.

Notion your mind with the idea that God is there. If once the mind is notioned along that line, then when you are in difficulties it is as easy as breathing to remember - Why, my Father knows all about it! It is not an effort, it comes naturally when perplexities press. Before, you used to go to this person and that, but now the notion of the Divine control is forming so powerfully in you that you go to God about it. Jesus is laying down the rules of conduct for those who have His Spirit, and it works on this principle - God is my Father, He loves me, I shall never think of anything He will forget, why should I worry?

There are times, says Jesus, when God cannot lift the darkness from you, but trust Him. God will appear like an unkind friend, but He is not; He will appear like an unnatural Father, but He is not; He will appear like an unjust judge, but He is not. Keep the notion of the mind of God behind all things strong and growing. Nothing happens in any particular unless God's will is behind it, therefore you can rest in perfect confidence in Him. Prayer is not only asking, but an attitude of mind which produces the atmosphere in which asking is perfectly natural. "Ask, and it shall be given you."

God has given us this rule of conduct: to always remember He is there and is in control.

I have depression. It's something I don't want to consider that God intentionally gave me. That makes Him seem very unjust. I don't understand it, and it makes me very angry with God that He won't just heal me. But my anger at God is always a statement that God is unfair. When I don't like my life and what God has allowed into my life, I am being demanding of life, and ultimately of God. I am demanding my will, not His will. I still don't have this all worked out. I am struggling, which is a large part of my reason for quietness here. But I think struggling is okay; in fact, I think it's just where God wants me to be.

Circumstances

Two blessings this week I thought I'd share with you.

First, in planning our DC/Virginia vacation this fall, we had booked our flight into Baltimore/Washington airport because it was significantly cheaper. However, upon further planning we discovered this was actually going to be a huge hassle and end up costing us money in the long run. To change the tickets to Ronald Reagan airport would be $600, plus the fare difference. Bummer.

Then we get an e-mail saying that our flight has been changed to include a stop in Chicago. Our youngest is terrified of flying, so we did not want any stops. We called, and they willingly changed our flight to Ronald Reagan airport at no charge! Same fare and everything!! Wow.

Second, I saw an ad in the paper Sunday for a rug store auction. I went this morning and bought a $685 rug for $150 to put in our "new" family room (that is still in progress, btw).

I know these are small things, but it's really nice when life works out well sometimes. Is it fair to say God is good when circumstances work out in my favor? Yes. But if I'm going to say that, then I also have to say God is good when circumstances do not work in my favor. His goodness has nothing to do with circumstances. I honestly don't know how much God "interferes" in these little (or big) happenings in our life. My philosophy tends to be that we're living in a fallen and corrupt world, so sometimes bad things happen and sometimes good things happen; it's just the nature of living in a world we were not created for. How much bad or good God allows, no one really knows. But we can know that He works all things for good to those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

liberty cannot exist apart from transparency

". . . inauthentic people are ineffective people
. . . liberty cannot exist apart from transparency."

I read that this evening in Beth Moore's Get Out of That Pit. It really hit a cord with me, and resonated with what I've always believed and have attempted to live. I have sometimes taken huge risks to share myself honestly because I believe that we really cannot grow until we do. We cannot live in authentic community with others, particularly in the Church, if we do not allow some vulnerability.

I find it very difficult when I have friends who seem to hold up barriers, usually in the name of privacy. Certainly modesty should always be observed, as well as an avoidance of slander or gossip. There are lines of what should and should not be shared, particularly when it involves another person. But those instances aside, I do believe we're doing ourselves and others a disservice when we keep all our struggles neatly packaged away, only to be brought out in moments of solitude.

God is the only healer, but He often uses others as the helping hand out of the pit. Relationships are God's design. What could you be missing by not being authentic? Think about it.